Monday, May 6, 2013

If Jodi Arias were a domestic violence victim, Travis Alexander would have...

If Jodi Arias were a domestic violence victim, Travis Alexander would have come to her. Alyce LaViolette, the defense domestic violence expert seemed to overlook one important detail about abusers. Here it is.

One of the most often seen characteristics of an abuser, is that they increase their level of violence and control when their victim tries to leave. If anything, Travis Alexander exhibited signs of a domestic violence victim, not Jodi Arias.

Think about this...

One of the top questions those who are following the Jodi Arias case has is, "Why did Travis Alexander keep sleeping with Jodi Arias?"

This could be asked another way..."Why didn't Travis Alexander just end his relationship with Jodi permanently?"

How about this, "Why didn't Travis Alexander file a restraining order after he believed Jodi Arias slashed his tires?"

Who prey tell is the domestic violence victim here?

It is possible that Travis Alexander did love Jodi Arias at one time. I think there had to be a tie between them that went deeper than what he felt was good sex. But, it is possible that is all that held them together.

When I look at Travis Alexander, my heart breaks. I see this adorable little boy who grew up with abuse and neglect. Then, he fell into the hands of the Mormon church. The teachings he took upon himself put him into sexual bondage.

Travis had to find a Mormon wife and time was running out for him. He was approaching 30 and was living a religious lifestyle where he could not experience sexual freedom as many men that age would.

Travis Alexander did not have the life skills or experiences, in my opinion, to even recognize that Jodi Arias was as dangerous as she was.

I can imagine that dating lots of Mormon virgins when you're approaching 30 and can't get one of them to marry you built a lot of sexual tension in him...sexual tension that Jodi Arias used to her advantage.

The control that Jodi Arias had over Travis Alexander was sex and sex alone.
But, I do think it is possible that in Travis Alexander's mind, in the early part of their relationship, he may have felt that he loved Jodi. I'm sure her controlling, manipulative and invasive behaviors (such as breaking into his computer), caused a quick cooling off to those feelings.

Let's think about it this way, shall we?

If Jodi Arias were the domestic violence victim, then where are the instances of extreme control from Travis Alexander to Jodi?

When Jodi Arias left Mesa, Arizona, he didn't follow her, hunt her down, show up unannounced at her grandparents' house, break in and surprise her in her
bedroom. Oh no.

From what the evidence shows, Jodi Arias moved away and Travis Alexander said good riddance.

He was not heartbroken that she was gone, he didn't show violent tendencies to get his victim back.

In fact, he was planning to leave with Marie "Mimi" Hall to Cancun. A woman he made it clear he was romantically interested in.

I truly feel that if men weren't made to feel they can't be victims of domestic violence, and greater awareness and resources were available for men, Travis Alexander may have had a fighting chance.

He needed to take advantage of every opportunity that is available to women victims of domestic violence.

Travis Alexander needed to call the police. He needed to file a report during the first instance of stalking. He should have reported her as an intruder in his home. He should have changed his phone number. Travis Alexander should have had a restraining order against Jodi Arias and notified the police anytime she violated it.

It is possible that Travis Alexander may have needed to move out of state and go into hiding.

I am dead serious here.

Travis Alexander was a domestic abuse victim and never once utilized the services he could have. I don't say this as a way of putting blame on Travis, oh no. I say this with all sincerity, that I really don't think he saw himself as a victim.

It is also possible that since Travis Alexander had broken the Mormon vow of chastity and was sleeping with Jodi Arias, he felt even more shame about getting help. He may not have gone to his church with the problem for fear he would have been blamed for sleeping with her in the first place. Maybe Travis Alexander also blamed himself for the relationship with Jodi and thought he could handle it on his own.

I believe that Travis Alexander was not aware of the dire situation he was in. I don't think he even knew the extent that Jodi Arias was abusing him.

It was all he had ever known.

Resources for Male Victims of Domestic Violence






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